My Story
In 2011, my family received the devastating news that my father had end-stage pancreatic cancer. Just three months later, he was gone. During those three months, my mother was blessed to have an in-home nurse share the burden of caring for my father. And, just as importantly, that nurse allowed us to honor my father's wishes to die at home.
Our nurse provided far more than physical care. Keeping a bedside vigil when my father was in the active phase of dying, she offered comfort, prayers, and reports on his status to my mother. The nurse's calm, reassuring presence proved indispensable.
In 2014, after a year of suffering the devasting effects of congestive heart failure, my mother was ready to let go and make her peace. She, too, entered hospice care. That same night, she called me to say how much she loved me, always and forever. The next day, she joined my father.
Origins of Hospice Care
Seeing first-hand the power of a loving, compassionate end to life, I became intrigued by the practice of hospice care. I learned that the word "hospice" stems from the Latin, "hospitium" which means "hospitality." The root is also seen in English words such as "hospital" and "hotel."
In Medieval times, the word "hospice" described the rest and comfort monasteries extended to travelers and pilgrims, as well as the sick, wounded, and dying. This tradition gradually evolved into what we now call hospice care.
The Needs of the Dying
Recently, the memory of my parents' death, surrounded by loved ones, has prompted me to volunteer at a local hospice organization. My goal is to provide the same respect, dignity, trust, and compassion my parents received.
So far, I've learned that respecting a patient often means simply sitting with them in silence. Asking them to share about their lives confirms their dignity. Reading out loud, playing music, and documenting their life story builds trust.
But, more than anything else, true compassion demands honoring the sacred space of life's end. As a volunteer, I bear witness to the "spirit of life" and the sacredness of leaving it. In spite of my own feelings about death, I have to remember that it is not my journey, but that of the patient.
Volunteering at a hospice is a powerful way to heal your own grief and appreciate the beauty of life in its entirety. But, hospice facilities benefit from your donations, too. Consider supporting your own local hospice center. It might just change your life.